My Favorite One to Be with

     My friend! Do you enjoy being with your best friend? You might say, "Yeah, of course, why not?" Well, so do L Now,I'd like to tell you about my favorite one to be with.
     Her name is Perssy.  She has two brilliant eyes, a bean nose, and a cherry mouth. When she is walking, her golden and curling hair wafts in the wind. Oh! You may think that I have a devilishly charming girlfriend. Well, I am sorry to tell you that Perssy is only a lovely little dog.
     Perssy is dear but naughty. Every morning, she punctually and gently jumps onto my bed, barking and dragging my quilt until I get up. With Perssy, I always feel she is just like my nurse maid. But thanks to Perssy, I don't need an alarm clock any longer and can hardly be late for school.
     Perssy enjoys walking with me. After supper, we wander together to the nearest park.  Perssy just runs in front of me,stops suddenly, turning around, watching me for a while, and then runs along again. I can only follow her slowly and patiently.
     Once inside the park, I sit on the grassland, playing my guitar, chanting some soft songs while Perssy shows great excitement, swirling her head, shaking her little downy tail to the music. She acts as if she were really an excellent dancer.  When tired, Perssy leans her head on my back, sleeping soundly and peacefully.  At that time, I watch Perssy carefully, patting her hair tenderly, with the starry sky above us, and I feel as if Perssy and I were blended into one. Both men and animals are created by God and therefore should live in harmony in nature for we really need each other
     Perssy, my best friend, my favorite one to be with, you make me know that friends can add color to life and make it more worth living.

简  评
    本文的作者用生动的语言描述了他生活中的亲密伙伴——小狗Perssy。文中所记叙的情节非常具有生活气息，如Perssy每天早上如何叫我起床，晚饭过后与我一同去公园散步，唱歌跳舞。由此作者联想到人类与动物在大自然中应该保持一种和谐的关系。但对小狗为什么成为作者生活中最亲密的伙伴的原因，刻画的深度尚不够。 （转载自科教范文网http://fw.nseac.com）
    文章语言优美，用词准确，如描写Perssy的外形时，作者用了two brilliant eyes，a bean nose，and a cherry mouth，her gold and curlinghair。在句法层面上，作者娴熟地运用各种句型，长短句并用，如并列句““On the grassland，playing myguitar，chanting some Soft songs while Perssy shows great excitement，swirling her head，shaking herlittle downytail to the music，描绘出一幅 非常轻松宜人的场景。
    (点评教师：黄莺)